"Live a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than fear." - Elizabeth Gilbert
I'm not going to live a mundane life. There, I said it. Before I go further though, let me be clear that what that looks like for me, may look totally different for you. And you know what? That's okay! With that choice, I've also chosen to feel fear, feel discomfort; that's part of the deal. Are you in?
I find it so interesting that you can predict how something will go. If it's a situation that is expected to be unpleasant, you might take precautions to minimize the discomfort, yet it can still go as anticipated. To that I say, Give. It. Some. Time. Things will shift. It's almost like getting the flu, you know that it has to run its course and then you'll feel better. The same is true for mental discomfort.
I knew that the first couple days here in Bali would be hard for me, that I'd feel vulnerable, anxious, lost, uncomfortable. History has taught me that. Intellectually, I know that I have to respect the time that I need to adjust. That said, it didn't help when I was actually living through the transition. I was unsettled and upset about the fact that I wasn't agile enough to jump right in. I almost felt paralyzed by my fear and anxiety. I didn't exercise on day 1 or even day 2, nor did I eat as well as I typically do. I wasn't happy about it, but I didn't beat myself up, I just reminded myself, "be kind and give it time." It's the small price I pay for acting on these big ideas of mine.
During those first 36 hours, I called on my support system (you know who you are) to give me the pep talks that I needed to withstand this period. I wouldn't be able to be this brave and fulfill these ideas if I didn't have these people in my life who cheer me on and remind me that I've got this.
So, I'm finally feeling like myself again. I've made some great connections already with some really cool people. They are from all over the world, all different ages and all up to big things.
A little note about how I've spent my time in the last day...
Yesterday I explored the Canggu area. I had lunch at this charming vegan spot called The Shady Shake with one of the guys staying at the coliving space, then I ventured out on my own into town. I felt exhilarated just being off on my own in Bali, navigating my way through town, to the beach and back. That was an accomplishment in my book. It was touch and go there for a bit, but in that moment, I said to myself, "I'm back." Last night, a group of people from my living space went to dinner on the beach which also had a nighttime market. This morning I got myself up, took an exceptionally long walk and made my first Crossfit Wanderlust class.
To really understand the essence of the last day in comparison to when I arrived, I encourage you to look deeper and read between the lines a bit. It's not that I walked around town or that I went to dinner with these new friends, it's more about the symbolism of what those experiences fulfill and mean.